There were some pretty odd predictions* about what to expect in the 21st century, one or two of which I was eagerly anticipating.

Houses dusted automatically...erm, yes please!

Just three sets of clothing (which is where the "or" comes in)…I'm still undecided.

Less coffee...perhaps not so much. I'm a work in progress though, so who knows?!

Funnily enough, one hunch which seemed certain was that the self-help book market was saturated and would die a natural death. Yet here we are, over a hundred years later, awash with self-help paraphernalia. Books, soundbites, articles, podcasts, webinars, mailshot... Suffice to say, if it can be read, listened to, or watched, it's been covered.

Which, in many respects, is a good thing.

Gone are the days when only the lucky few who could afford a therapist, or had access to a counsellor, could actually get to voice any concerns about their perceived shortcomings; and in doing so, attain the necessary clarity to move forward.

Countless others were practically drowning in a cesspool of self-doubt; acrid fumes not only dissipating whatever lucid thoughts remained, but etching a tattoo of sheer hopelessness on their foreheads as a bonus.

'Here stands has-been/shoulda-been/wanna-be/may-never-be Me'.

Something especially hard to imagine with the retinue of family, friends, pastors, coaches et al available to us now that it's not unfashionable to need help. We are assailed left, right and centre - online and off - yet not so long ago, it was far from so. You got on with things, cos that's what folks did back then.

Years back, I bumped into an old acquaintance whilst out shopping. I hadn't seen her in almost 10 years, but recognised her when she came out of the changing rooms to look in the mirror.

Now, "Eeek" is my default expression when I see a perfectly good design ruined by the contours of my body. Either because it's too big, or small; or it just doesn't suit me. It is by no means a disaster - just a pity.

Her reaction, however, startled both myself and the shop assistant. "I knew it wouldn't suit me. Nothing ever does. I'll always be fat. And have to wear baggy clothes. I should have listened to my mother. She was right." Whereupon she stopped abruptly, sloping off with a resigned air.

It was what she said, as well as the way she said it. With an eerie combination of weariness and matter-of-factness. I was deeply troubled then that there could be words her mother had uttered long before which had instilled such a sense of helplessness in her and still resonated. Looking back now, I am even sadder because I see it had become a mantra; one I'm not sure she ever did escape from.

No wonder there.

Mantras are bad even when they sound positive. Making a lot of the stuff repeated ad verbatim in the quest for self-esteem as dubious as the word's roots:

'sacred message or text, charm, spell, counsel'.

Along with a hint of bewitchment comes the question of whose counsel one is listening to...

The idea is a simple one. You're constantly telling yourself how great you are to counteract anything and anybody that says otherwise; which sounds marvellous in and of itself.

Except that as a Christian, I know it is who God says we are that makes a difference: a truth only to be found in that sine qua non of spiritual tools - The Holy Bible.

I came across the words of @gabycatira as she spoke of embracing her alopecia:**

"For me, self love is accepting your shortcomings, appreciating your strengths, working on the things you want to improve about yourself, giving yourself compassion and celebrating all of it, because all those things put together make you who you are. These images capture a "Gaby" that has finally understood and is living all of that."

True talk.

The day I truly understood who I was remains the most defining in my life.

So, yup. It is a realllly good thing that we don't need to cope alone. That we have advisers to guide us as we muddle through life. As long as we remember that the answers and reassurance we seek are ultimately only to be found in Christ Jesus.***

Who does He say you are?

• 24 Strange Predictions For the 21st Century, Ellen Gutoskey, September 3 2020, mentalfloss.com

**As spoken to brilliant photographer @alexilubomirski when he shot her as part of his #AllLoveSeries

***"I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God."

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. Ephesians 1:4 NLT