Another Day, Another Karen

Although I’m tempted to downgrade her to a Kerry. Or a Kim, as she was that clueless.

So, I'm taking an online course – très, très challenging when you combine age and an abject hatred of Zoom - when someone asks a question. Not unusual on a course, huh? But wait - there's more.

The tutor then pipes up, "Is that 'Yemi or Ngozi? I can't tell!" and suddenly what started out as a promising session comes apart at the seams.

From what I'd seen and heard so far, Ngozi and I didn't think alike, look alike, or speak alike. She was a Britco yellow babe with tresses a type 4c like myself can only dream of and had about five degrees; whilst I was...well, just me. The only thing that screamed “same” was that we were both black. Period.

As I lay down during the break to better ponder how Karen could have mixed the two of us up, in the stillness and quietness it hit me. She wasn't blind or deaf, nor was it a calculated slight.

Though it sometimes is, this time it wasn't personal. In a two-week period in which I needed all my wits about me, this was simply a ploy of the enemy to throw me off my game. In other words, it was merely a distraction.

However, for many people of colour, there are legitimate and recurring concerns.

Quite aside from having security guards follow us around whilst we're shopping, just in case we 'mistakenly' slip something ultra-expensive into our pockets... or 'politely' being asked to pay upfront for services just in case we can't afford the bill... or frequently encountering the person who assumes that as your name isn't Smith or Jones, you couldn’t possibly understand how things work/are done in good old Blighty.

Basically, there is no end to the could-bes. Having said that, I’ve found that two queries are usually pertinent:

Is it a deliberate insult, or sheer obliviousness?

A battle I need to fight, or one to ignore in order to conserve energy for the real wars ahead – of which life has taught me there are many?!

Cultural differences exist in all cultures.

A childhood friend was fond of telling her (white) mother she was being silly, and occasionally, to shut up. I was, and still am, fascinated by such temerity. Ha! Try that with my mother.

I can just picture my decapitated head - deftly felled by a swift backhand - orbiting Saturn and not so much as daring to peek and see if her ire had subsided. In other words, as English as my mannerisms might be, such daring comments will always be taboo in my family.

After a particularly satisfying lunch with another friend, he suggested we stop and say hello to his cousins who lived round the corner from me but whom I’d never met. I later learned that they were both horrified and mortified that I refused the refreshments they’d offered. I was confused because we’d made it very clear we’d just had lunch. Why would I eat/drink if I wasn’t hungry/thirsty? I didn’t get the chance to ask them because I wasn’t invited back. 💁🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

Should such differences permanently divide us? I think not.

You see, whether we people of colour speak with conk Cockney, Manchurian or Scouse accents, deep down inside everyone carries and displays a lot more of their ancestry and inherent customs than they realise or care to admit.

And so I really must always factor in a possible lack of understanding on the part of any aggressor. Manners too. (A good topic for another day! 😉)

Don't get me wrong! With regards to race and equality, I love how far we've come. And are going to get to, please God! Yet sometimes it's so tiring I just want to shut it out, and sleep, and dream dreams of a simpler time and a simpler life...

Less #WhatWouldJesusDo?

More #HowDidJesusFeel?

I can defo relate. 😶

Anyways, in the big scheme of things, what Karen said that day was of no consequence because I remembered I had bigger fish to fry.

Today too, hopefully.

Until tomorrow, perhaps.

When the struggle resumes afresh, and a full-scale conflict might well be raging.

In which case I might need to flip some tables, albeit in love.

So I guess I should say, to be continued…

🧐

📖 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27 NLT (YouVersion)

📖 And we no longer see each other in our former state—Jew or non-Jew, rich or poor, male or female—because we’re all one through our union with Jesus Christ with no distinction between us.

Galatians 3:28 TPT (YouVersion)

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