When Zero Is A Verb

A recent social media chat

Examined sexism

In the workplace

Everyone in high spirits

Reliving and exchanging

A ton of personal stories

Some hilarious

Others horrifying

Each worthy of their own

SNL sketch.

Given the diversity

Of the group

It was amazing that

Our tales of woe

Were hauntingly similar.

Age, nationality

Career path and status

Rather than divide us

Just further cemented

Our shared experiences

And was a joy to see.

Better still

The constantly worrying

"I"

Which had hitherto threatened

To derail our unity

Was missing.

Time was

We were so distracted

By boardroom battles

We forgot the struggles

We had endured

On the way up.

Unseemly and unnecessary

tussles by the photocopier...

Mostly vain attempts to drown out

less than wholesome chat

by the watercooler...

Laser-like leers that put

Goldfinger's to shame...

Projects that mysteriously

changed hands overnight...

Team-building away days

on testosterone-overload...

The "Hello-I-do-have-an-opinion

-and-would-like-to-be-heard"

face-offs...

All the daily indignations

And basic nightmares

We suffered

The ones that others

Much like our younger selves

Still have to.

“We”

Has once again

Become the operative word

And it is a joy to see

Because it's no fun

On the top-floor

When the only oestrogen levels

Are our own.

There are whispers that need

To be nurtured

Until they become a song

That occupies

More seats at the table

Whilst drowning out

The chorus of our naysayers.

So, on this day

Of Zero Discrimination*

UNAIDS is challenging

That which is faced

By women and girls

In all their diversity

In order to raise awareness

And mobilize action

To promote equality

And empowerment.

This we can get behind.

This we can do.

Our folding chairs

Once unceremoniously

Bundled into cupboards

In case the rare occasion

Merited its appearance

Are now director's class

Acacia wood and buffalo hide

Signalling our arrival.

As that beloved

Virginia Slims advert

Practically screamed

From countless billboards

Way back in the day

"You've come a long way baby!"**

Oh yes.

We have.

And we intend to stay.

Image: Don Hogan Charles

*UNAIDS - Zero Discrimination Day

**Leo Burnett Agency, 1968

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