The Best In Us

Like all Nigerians, I come from a large family. Qualified thus because even if you're the only child of only children, it’s a given that your parents have a dozen cousins each who themselves have enough offspring to match the gene pool of the most fertile of traditional rulers.

Proud progenitors aside, we will never ever be alone in the world, or want for help, unless we want to be. And I find this wonderful in every sense of the word.

The downside of having that many relatives is that you only end up meeting half of them. The upside? When you do, it usually proves that no matter how many times removed the "cousinship" is, what you have in common is undeniable.

Vickie and I hit it off when we met at school and loved telling everyone we were cousins. However, when asked how, we hit a brick wall trying to figure it out. So, her Dad visited and took us out for lunch, we eagerly awaited the answer.

“Ah ah”, he said, “we're from the same family compound”. Vickie and I looked at each other in horror, simultaneously saying, "Sooooo, we're not really cousins?!"

At which point he looked at us as if we were both deaf and dumb. "Didn't you hear me?! Of course you are!!"

It was a truly unforgettable moment. I didn't get his irritation (or indeed the whole concept) then, but I do now. With Western values creeping into our culture and suggesting the unthought-of, we doggedly remain faithful to the idea of the hallowed extended unit. And shock, horror, in the origin of the word lies the key to our humanity.

● from Latin familia:

"a household, the slaves of a household, domestics"

Not meant to be alone*, and finding real strength in gathering together; joining forces to present a deep-rooted front. Despite the strife such ties frequently generate, Jesus' blood proves its viscosity again and again.

In an unprecedented year of separation and loss, I celebrate this International Day of Families with much gratitude.

May those who have left us remain alive in our memories, and may we who still get to commune and break bread together do so joyfully.

Kith and kin? I'll take it - all day, every day.

*“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9‭-‬12 MSG

#familiesrock!

▪︎Image by rawpixel.com

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